翻译: 冠风 vai歪 一滑 赛尔壳斯
莫蒂又在看杰西卡的Instagram了 What is on Jessica's Instagram again.
走开 混蛋 Get out of here jerk!
有什么好尴尬的 莫蒂 What's so embarrassing Morty?
校对: 史努比嘟
跟家人分享一下 说不定有帮助呢 Sharing it with your family might help.
夏茉 别再让你弟弟难堪了 Summer stop shaming your brother.
莫蒂 别再做那些吓人的变态网络跟踪狂行为了 Morty s*DefaultNTP being a creepy perverted cyberstalker.
后期: 天灵没有盖
我没在网上跟踪别人 I'm not cyberstalking!
我 我只是想知道她的项链是在哪弄到的 I-I-I just wanted to know where she got this necklace from.
压制: 怪查理
现在我知道了 And now I know.
她 她的奶奶留给她的 Her -- Her -- Her grandma left it to her.
你很安静啊 瑞克 You're quiet Rick.
总监: 怪查理
你难道不给我们讲讲 奶奶们都是虚幻的大道理吗 Shouldn't you be revealing grandmas aren't real?
你好 我大脑里植入了自动回复芯片 Hi. I've placed an auto-response chip in my brain
好让我能有时间陪伴家人 so I can spend time with my family.
但你不正在陪伴家人么 But you arespending time with your family.
感谢你和瑞克交谈 Thank you for talking to Rick.
好的 早餐也吃完了 Alright I'm finished with my breakfast
亚马逊心愿单也弄完了 走吧 莫蒂 and my Amazon wish list. Let's go Morty.
我需要搞到禁忌主星的死亡水晶 I need death crystals from Forbodulon Prime.
爸 现在咱们有一套规则要遵守的 Dad? There's a way we do this now.
莫蒂 请问你愿意与我一起 Morty would you please accompany me
去禁忌主星取死亡水晶吗 to Forbodulon Prime for death crystals?
谢谢你问我 我愿意 Well thank you for asking. Yes I will do that.
这照片的确挺性感的 It isa hot photo.
我觉得哀伤给人一种特殊的红晕 I think grief flushes your cheeks.
爸 你基本没放糖浆啊 Dad you hardly put any syrup on.
宝贝 别再试图升高你爸的胆固醇 Honey s*DefaultNTP raising your father's cholesterol
好让你能发一张性感葬礼自拍了 so you can take a hot funeral selfie.
什么都不让我做 I never get to do anything.
瑞克与莫蒂
第四季 第一集
电波诚译
瑞克 也许我们可以稍微 Uh Rick maybe if we go a little --
快点吗 好主意 莫蒂 Faster? Good idea Morty.
这样我们就能更快穿过这片小行星了 It'll get us through these asteroids sooner.
天呐 我妈确认我自愿参加这些冒险 Geez you're really thispissed about my mom making sure
就这么让你生气吗 I'm okay with our adventures?
下一步是什么 难道我想让你跳下帝国大厦 What's next Morty? What if I want you to jump off
- 我也要征求同意了吗 - 是呀 the Empire State Building? I have to ask? Yes?
你真没看出来这是条得寸进尺的不归路么 And you seriously don't see how that's a slippery slope?
赶快闭嘴 帮我弄这些吧 劳驾了 Just shut up and help me with these please.
它们为什么叫死亡水晶啊 Why are they called death crystals?
它 它会让人死掉吗 D-Do they kill you?
你说的那是子弹 莫蒂 You're thinking of bullets Morty.
死亡水晶能让你看到你的死亡方式 Death crystals show you how you're gonna die.
我的天啊 我 我会死上万次吗 Jesus Christ! I-I die a million times?
你的未来源自当下 Your future stems from your [burps] present
而如果你过得没问题 当下是一直在变化的 which if you're living right keeps changing.
事实上 知道自己肯定以某种方式死去的人 Truth is anyone that knows how they're definitely gonna die
要不然就是无聊透顶的庸人 is either boring as hell or about to get shot.
要不然就是马上要挨枪子儿了 趴下 Duck!
他们是谁 Who are those guys?!
水晶偷猎者 Crystal poachers.
没有比他们更低等的生命了 There's no lower form of life.
他们觉得整个星系都是他们的私人存钱罐 They think the galaxy's their own personal piggy bank.
等等 那我们是什么 Wait then what are we?
我们是瑞克与莫蒂 We're Rick and Morty.
你将要见证这些水晶唯一的真实用途 You're about to witness the only real use for these crystals.
它能让你看到那帮人什么时候换弹 They show you when the other guy's reloading.
确定会死 确定会死 确定会死 不确定会死 Certain death certain death certain death uncertain death.
确定会死 确定会死 确定会死 And certain death certain death certain death.
肯定会被这家伙射中 Definitely gonna get shot by this guy;
这就是我的命运 我什么都做不了 this is totally my fate; nothing I could possibly do;
好的 现在 事情变了 okay now not so much.
帮我把这些收集起来 Help me gather these up.
- 你只是用它们来赢得战斗吗 - 不是我利用它们 You just use these to win fights? Idon't use them.
一辈子躲避死亡的人 也已经死了 People that spend their life avoiding death are already dead.
但他们都很富有 而我愿意花他们的钱过我的生活 They're also rich and I like to spend my life with their money.
- 噢天呐 - 莫蒂 Oh my God. Morty!
Jessica Jessica! Oh!
我爱你 I love you.
莫蒂 我爱你 Morty，I love you.
Jessica 我想死的时候有Jessica陪我 Jessica. I want to die with Jessica.
你在干什么 Ahh! What are you doing?
- 啊 呃 能让我开吗 - 为什么 Oh um c-can I drive? Why?
那个 在路上飙一把 The...feel of the open road?
这才对嘛 这是哪位外孙啊 Alright! Who's this grandson?
我喜欢他的风格 I like his style.[ Keys jingle ]
莫蒂 你清楚外太空在上面对吧 Morty you know outer space is up right? Yeah yeah.
是是 我只是 呃 跟着感觉走 I'm just uh following...my...instincts.
你就好好往上开行吗 Will you just go up? S*DefaultNTP!
快停下 你会让我死而不得其所的 You're gonna make me die wrong!
等等 你说什么 Wait a minute what?
莫蒂 你口袋里的东西是死亡水晶吗 Morty do you have a death crystal in your pocket?
不是 可能吧 No! Maybe! You little monster!
你这个小混蛋 我以为你只是在自慰呢 I thought you were masturbating!
所以你就这么淡然处之吗 And you took that in stride?!
难不成你愿意我提这个 You'd rather I address it?!
我为什么会自慰啊 Why would I be doing it?!
那你为什么会偷死亡水晶 Why would you steal a death crystal?!
我想老死 I want to die old!
那就别再开了 Then s*DefaultNTP driving!
- 不 - 你个小兔崽子 No! You son of a bitch!
把方向盘给我 莫蒂 Give me the wheel Morty.
妈的 Goddamn it.
啊 糟了 Ohhh shit.
我操 我操 我操 Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.
我爱你 莫蒂 -I love you Morty. -[ Sighs ]
我会找你复仇的 I will avenge my death.
- 我操 - 开玩笑呢 Holy shit! Just kidding.
我是一个危机监测矫正全息投影 I'm a crisis detection and correction hologram
是"真的"瑞克在你脊柱里植入的芯片生成的 generated by a chip that "real" Rick put in your spine.
我用加引号的"真的"是因为? "Real" in quotes because calling density-privileged entities
把拥有实体特权的个体称为"真的"是非常恐全息的行为 "real" is incredibly holo-phobic.
莫蒂 帮我个实在的忙 先别管这个有问题的文字游戏 Morty do me a solid -- problematic wordplay aside --
去后备箱拿一下那个蓝色手柄的枪 grab the gun with the blue handle from the trunk
然后从尸体上取点组织样本 and get a tissue sample from the corpse.
好的 现在把它拿回后备箱 Alright now take that to the trunk
并放入克隆编辑器里 and insert it into the clone compiler.
我注意到你正拿着一块死亡水晶 I see you appear to be holding a death crystal
并让它而不是我来指导你的决定 that's guiding your decisions more than I am.
这是你的权利 That's your right.
我只是想提醒你 有的人没办法拿住任何东西 I just want to remind you that some people can't hold anything
并且永远无法死亡 所以这有一点冒犯到 and can never die so that's a little offensive to --
噢 好吧 [ Engine starts ]Oh okay.
听着 我被编入了很高的容忍度 莫蒂 Listen I'm programmed for tolerance Morty.
所以我愿意接受你目前的行为 So I'm willing to accept that you're doing this
前提是你也要接受你得赶快停下的事实 if you're willing to accept that you need to s*DefaultNTP.
接收中 重新导向 Accepting. Rerouted.
备份数据 凤凰计划启动 Backup. Data. Operation. Phoenix. Initiated.
怎么回事 我不是把这个协议砍掉了么 What the hell? I axed this protocol.
你用我的克隆做什么 What are you doing with my clone?
没事的 我就是你 It's okay. I'm you.
我在几季之前下线了我自己的克隆罐 I took my own clone vat offline a couple seasons ago
所以我觉得我的备份重新导向了你的宇宙 抱歉 so I think my backup got rerouted to your universe.
没关系 很乐意帮忙 I'm sorry. All good. Happy to help.
另外 抱歉我这么问 By the way annoying that I even have to ask
但你是支持法西斯反乌托邦的吧 but you are down with fascist dys*DefaultNTPias right?
没 错 YYYYYes.
你的"Yes"听起来 相当 That "yes" was pretty...[ Gun cocks ]
自由派 还用的是字母Y ...liberal with the letter "Y."
德语中发y音的是字母j
这真够怪的 Well isn't this strange.
我相信就是这种怪 I trust the kind of strange that makes Rick and Morty...
让瑞克和莫蒂更强大 ...stronger.
莫蒂 我逮住了这个穿着我浴袍的社会主义者 Morty I caught this socialist in my bathrobe.
他打算把我们所有的马提尼 He wants to give all of our martinis
都送给一个移民家庭 to a family of immigrants.
显然 这个湿漉漉 一丝不挂的克隆人才是冒牌货 Obviously the most likely imposter
是显而易见 is the wet naked clone.It is obvious.
但对警察来说可不是 But it won't be to the police.
行吧 Ohh! 'Kay.
他是低劣的瑞克 他政治倾向太明显了 He was an inferior Rick. He was too political.
我想要有趣而经典的 瑞克和莫蒂式的冒险 I want to have fun classic Rick-and-Morty adventures
一如往昔 like in the old days.
那我们就能相处融洽了 法西斯莫蒂 Then we'll get along fine Fascist Morty.
首先 只要去一趟禁忌主星就 For starters I just need to get to Forbodulon Prime --
我让你去哪儿你就去哪 You will go where I want you to go!!
操 Fuck.
嘿 嘿 吼 吼 Hey hey! Ho ho!
抵制不克隆你外公 Not cloning your grandpa has got to go!
嘿 嘿 吼 吼 Hey hey! Ho ho!
反对不克隆你外公 Not cloning your grandpa has got to go!
你们再烦我 我就把瑞克的DNA冲马桶 You don't get out of my face I'm gonna flush Rick's DNA.
好 行 合体 大家 Alright. Okay regroup everybody.
你也是 Berkeley You too Berkeley!
够了 Snap out of it.
至少告诉我 你这么执着的死法是什么样的 At least tell me what this death is that you're so determined to...
噢 Jessica Oh. Jessica.
莫蒂 我爱 Morty I love --
什么 不不 不不 What?! No no! No no no!
我爱你 I love you.
该死 Damn it!
我连话都不能跟她说 怎么可能跟她一起死 How am I gonna die with her if I can't even talk to her?
我有个主意 莫蒂 把那东西丢到垃圾桶里 Here's an idea Morty. Throw that thing in the garbage
别再计划自己的死法了 想跟谁说话就跟谁说话 s*DefaultNTP planning your own death and talk to whoever you want.
现在你说起话来跟真的瑞克差不多了 Now you just sound like Real Rick.
你大可不必这么讲话 莫蒂 You're better than that language Morty.
我大可不必你妈 Jack I ain't better than shit Jack.
所以 我们要干什么 So uh w-what are we doing?
别再提问题 别再跨次元壁评论本剧 S*DefaultNTP asking questions. S*DefaultNTP doing meta-commentary.
放开玩就好 Just have fun.
我们要去进行一场纯粹 有趣 经典的冒险之旅 We're going on a simple fun classic adventure.
好吧 你知道吗 除了不停说你不想做的事 Okay you know what? It would really help
倒不如说点别的 if you could just say anything other than what you don't want.
我喜欢使命必达先生 I like Mr. Meeseeks.
这才对嘛 Okay now we're talking. You know what?
你知道吗 我常常在杂物箱里放一个使命必达盒 I usually keep a Meeseeks box in my glove compartment
也许法西斯瑞克也会这么做 so maybe Fascist Rick does too.
看吧 果然 Ah! Well look at that.
现在我们在做以前做过的事了 Now we're doing something we've done before.
我是使命必达先生 I'm Mr. Meeseeks!
杀了这个白痴纳粹 Kill this Nazi prick!
遵命 Can do!
- 来啊 狗娘养的 - 不 停手 -Come here you son of a bitch! -No! S*DefaultNTP!
收到指令 重启中 Accepting. Rerouted.
备份 数据 凤凰计划 启动 Backup. Data. Operation. Phoenix. Initiated.
拜托不是吧 Aw come on man.
你还好吗 Whoa are you okay?
还好 抱歉 Yeah sorry. [ Burps ]
我是从另一个世界到来的瑞克 I'm a Rick from another reality.
我被上传到你的克隆仓来了 I-I got uploaded to your clone vat.
别担心伙计 我有一打克隆仓呢 Hey don't worry about it man. I have a dozen.
搞什么鬼 瑞克 W-W-What the heck Rick?
你在这克隆人吗 Are you making clones down here?
莫蒂 滚出去 Get outta here Morty!
莫蒂 别再问蠢问题了 S*DefaultNTP asking stupid questions Morty!
你说话像个傻逼 You sound like a piece of [bleep].
老天 Aw geez.
跟我说实话 伙计 没什么可耻的 So tell the truth man. No shame.
你看着你的虾身的样子惊讶死了 You're looking at your shrimp body like "What?!"
这么明显吗 对不起 Ah is it that obvious? I'm sorry.
我原来的身体是两脚走路的 灵长类的后裔 Yeah my original body is more bipedal -- uh ape-descended.
真的吗 好怪哦? Really! Weird.
那你的家是不是跟树一样 或者 Does your house look like a tree or...
不 跟你家一样 No it looks like this.
跟你家一模一样其实 It's like identical to this actually.
真是颠覆三观啊 That is such a mind [bleep].
没事 伙计 我不介意 It's all good man. I'm fine with it.
老实说 你帮了我个大忙 Honestly you're doing me a huge favor
因为你是虾人而不是法西斯 by being shrimp instead of fascists.
咋了 What?
该死 Goddamn it!
垃圾法西斯主义怎么成默认项了 When did this shit become the *DefaultNTP?!
谁想到黑板上来 Who wants to come up to the board
写几个基础整数给我看看 and show me some basic-ass integers?
我爱你 莫蒂 -I love you Morty. -Aah!
莫蒂 好 来吧 Morty? Yeah right.
这不是个整数 That's not an integer!
这都不重要了 Apparently it doesn't matter.
该死的莫蒂 你数学太差了 Damn Morty you're bad at math
但你的自信能拿A+ but I'm giving you an A-plus in confidence.
只是做了我该做的事 Just doin' what I gotta do.
加分 Extra credit!
莫蒂 我爱你 I love you Morty. I love you Morty.
你干嘛走路这么趾高气扬 What's with the strut?
- 你以为学校你家开的啊 - 不 You think you own this school? -Nope!
如果我杀了你呢 你还能这样趾高气扬吗 What if I killed you? Would you be strutting then?
除非皮克斯电影<寻梦环游记>里的亡灵节故事是真的 Only if the events of the Pixar movie "Coco" are to be believed
电影寻梦环游记 死去的人会在亡灵节这天重返人间
但我很怀疑 which I doubt.
我有可靠的消息证明 I have it on good authority
你杀不了我 that you're probably not gonna kill me.
所以你不妨像我这样 So why don't you do what I do
顺其自然 与人为善 平心静气 孩子 and just go with the flow nice and Zen baby.
真没用 Ugh! Impotence!
啊 无能狂怒 Aah! Impotent rage!
明天你死定了 没商量 You die tomorrow no matter what.
这就是恶霸们说的"既成事实" It's what bullies call a "fait accompli."
- 噢 不 哦 妈的 - 哎呀 哎呀 Oh man! Oh shit! Well well well. Mm.
看来你有麻烦了 莫蒂 Looks like you got yourself in a lick of trouble huh Morty?
好好好 如果你救我一命 Okay okay look if you help me not die
我就让瑞克复活 I'll bring Rick back to life.
你为什么要假装在吃鸡 Why are you pretending to eat chicken?
你说啥 Excuse me?
这鸡对我来说可真了 This chicken is quite real to me.
好吧 可是它没有 Yeah okay but it doesn't have --
- 营养 - 对 Nutrients? Yeah.
你上一顿吃了什么 What's the last thing you ate?
烟熏香肠和橙子 Baloney and an orange.
没有吃全息食物吗 So no holographic foods?
照这样说 以我的标准你从来不吃东西 So to me you never ate?
或者我们可以试着互相尊重 Or we could try respecting each other.
你不能直接告诉我该怎么活命吗 Will you just show me how to stay alive?
好的 莫蒂 一言为定 Alright Morty a deal's a deal.
等我们复活了你的瑞克之后 Once we bring your Rick back to life
我会帮你制服那个恶霸 then I'll help you with the bully.
去打开地下实验室的门 Go ahead and open the hatch to the subterranean lab.
里面有克隆装置 That's where all the cloning equipment is.
别告诉我你又在摸那块水晶 Please tell me you're not hitting that crystal again.
听着 瑞克也许是个典型的肉体特权阶级 Look Rick might be the epitome of bloated flesh privilege
但有一件事他说对了 but he's right about one thing.
如果你活在当下 而不是担心自己的死法 You're gonna be a lot happier if you focus on the moment
你会幸福很多 rather than on how you're gonna die.
我是说 谁会操心这件事啊 对吧 I mean w-who's worried about that huh?
对不起 全息影像瑞克 Sorry Hologram Rick.
这次我选择水晶 I'm going with the crystal on this one.
莫蒂 Morty.
哦 好吧 好吧 Oh alright okay.
就因为我碰不到实物 Just because I can't interact with solid matter
你就可以视我为无物吗 means you can just walk all over me?
老天爷啊 Dear God.
(德语)你是法西斯吗 Bist du faschistisch?
不是 Nope.
你终于来了 Finally.
我以为你不敢出现了 I thought maybe you were pussying out.
哈 Hyah!
什么鬼 What the [bleep]?
哦 空气越来越稀薄了 Oh the air's getting thin!
哦哟哟 看来城里来了个新恶霸 Well well well looks like there's a new bully in town!
我们可算赶上了 他刚把霸凌恶霸变成了新的霸凌 Lucky for us he just made bully-bullying the new bullying!
打他 Bully him!
商场后面遇到阿基拉式事件 We've got an Akira-type situation going on
Akira 阿基拉 日本科幻动画中的超能力主人公
以上 behind the mall. Over.
在Jessica身边死去 Dying with Jessica...
嘿 Hey!
什么鬼 What the hell?
看过来 我是使命必达先生 I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!
助我践踏法律 Shield me from the law!
- 收到 没问题 - 趴下 -Yes sir! Can do! -Stand down!
看过来 Look at me!
我 会 老 死 I...will...die...old!
接下来 一名无人可挡的科幻男孩 Up next an uns*DefaultNTPpable science-fiction boy
正在攻击我国国防最后一道防线 is attacking our nation's final line of defense.
我们都会死于他的手中吗 Will we all fall to his deadly touch?
但是 先来则傻气新闻 But first something silly?
你什么意思 为什么要说"但是先" What do you mean "but first"?
我已经说了"接下来" 你总是这样 I already said "up next." You always do this.
我才没有总是这样 别操纵我 I don't alwaysdo shit. Don't gaslight me.
gaslighting 一种心理虐待方式 通过在他人心中播下疑惑来打压他人 使人质疑其记忆 感知 理智
根本没有操纵一说 Gaslighting doesn't exist.
你瞎编的 因为你他妈就是疯子 You made it up 'cause you're fucking crazy.
你为什么乖乖让我抓你 Why are you letting me do this?
我遵从水晶的指示 [ Robotically ] I do as the crystal guides.
法官阁下 我的委托人属于正当防卫 Your Honor my client was acting in self-defense.
他把十三个人变成了灰烬? He turned 13 men into piles of ash.
坐下 在宣判之前 Sit down! Before I sentence you
你还有什么要辩解的吗 is there anything you have to say for yourself?
我 会 会 永 永 I...w-w-will a-al-sways --
永远 记 记得 我 我们 always r-r-remember o-our --
我 我们 在 在 our -- our...v-v-t-time -- time...
秘 秘鲁 的 的 时 时光 i-in...f-g-g-g-P-P-Peru.
我会永远记得我们在秘鲁的时光 法官阁下 I will always remember our time in Peru Your Honor.
法官阁下 [ Gasps ]Your Honor
如你所见 我的委托人现在在胡说八道 as you can see my client is speaking nonsense.
闭嘴 S*DefaultNTP.
这些话是我丈夫的临终遗言 Those were my husband's last words.
他说他 爱 爱你 He says that he...l-loves you...
吸 吸 吸 小 ttt-llll-lit-lit-little -- little
噶 麻 麻 噶麻雀 ff-gg-sp-spa-ffggarrow --
小麻雀 sparrow!
他爱你 小麻雀 He loves you little sparrow.
他是无罪的 驳回案件 He's innocent. Case dismissed.
我来找你了 Condor I'm coming for you Condor![ Crowd cheers ]
我 就个人而言 是不会接受这个审判结果的 Well I for one will not be accepting this verdict.
这个小怪物也许以为自己已经逃过一劫 And this little monster may think he's gotten away
但他逃不掉社会舆论的审判 but there is something called the court of public opinion
这在我们国家拥有最终话语权权 that still has final say in this country.
哦 我猜他快要从法院出来了 Oh I guess he's coming out of the courthouse now.
让我们和现场连线 Let's go live to that.
Trover拯救宇宙 Squanch Games和RM主创推出的游戏
观众朋友们 我得告诉你们个事儿 People I gotta tell you something.
这个小男孩 That little boy...
我以为自己什么都知道了 I thought I knew everything about everything.
但是他刚刚哼出来的那些 But something about the tones and frequencies
曲调和频率让我觉得 that just came out of his mouth have made me...
我想我们已经准备好原谅他了 I mean I think we're just about ready to forgive him
这件事可以翻篇了 他是个无罪的青年人 and move past this whole thing. He's a free young man.
只要事情还是这样 世界就已经一键复原了 And as far as continuity goes the reset button's been hit.
莫蒂 审判结束得真快啊 Morty! That was a fast trial.
Jess - i - ca Jess-i-ca?
我和几个女生一会儿打算去裸泳 A bunch of us girls were gonna go skinny-dipping later
你想来的话一起啊 if you wanted to join.
其实是现在要去 我们现在就要去了 Actually now really. We're gonna do it right now.
这是我穿着衣服 This is the last conversation I'm having about it
说的最后一句话了 fully clothed. [ Chuckles ]
不了 谢谢 No thanks.
我在想 也许 我们 I'm...assuming... we...maybe...
四十岁再 在一起吧 get together... in our 40s?
呃 行啊 Uh cool.
听起来 很性感 Sounds...hot. [ Chuckles ]
拜 Bye.
一定要 继续 往 Must...continue... moving...
死在你身旁 的道路上 前进 in ways...that lead... to dying...with you.
喔 怎么就用掉一个克隆体了 Whoa! Way to use up a clone!
有没搞错 大哥 What the fuck man?
你怎么了 你不会说话吗 What's the matter with you? Y-Y-You don't talk?
捕鸟蛛割你舌头了吗 Tarantula got your tongue?
呃 黄蜂希特勒万岁 Uh... Heil Wasp Hitler?
什么 什么玩意儿 What? What the fuck?
哪里听来的屁话 Where's that shit coming from?
听着 我是灵长类动物 我 我遇到点麻烦 Look I'm a primate. I-I'm having a hard time.
我所说所想都是为了让我回家 I'll think or say whatever gets me home.
我告诉你黄蜂是怎么生存的 Well here's how it works with wasps.
我们会生吃我们的猎物 要是我们不吃 We eat our prey alive and when we don't
我们就在它们眼睛里下蛋 we lay our eggs in their eyeballs
这样我们的后代孵出来之后 so that our young can feast on their brains
就能吃它们的脑子存活 when they hatch.
如果你一出生就这么混蛋 When you're born that big an asshole
至少应该有一点同理心 the least you can do is have a little empathy.
来吧 先和我可爱的家人们一起吃顿晚饭 Now come have dinner with my beautiful family.
别再说什么希特勒了 And drop the Hitler stuff.
黄蜂莫蒂最近在上些特疯狂的论坛 Wasp Morty's been on some crazy message boards.
我和朋友今晚想在周围飞一下 Me and my friends want to fly around
找找有什么可以蛰的 and look for something to sting tonight.
你小心别用光所有毒液 You be careful not to waste all your venom.
我又不是蜜蜂 爸爸 I'm not a bee Dad.
哦 天啊 杀了我吧 拜托杀了我吧 Oh God! Kill me! Please kill me!
呃 Beth 呃 吃完晚饭后 Uh Beth uh after dinner
我能借一下莫蒂 could I maybe borrow Morty
帮助迷路的瑞克回到灵长类世界吗 to help the lost Rick get back to his primate-based reality?
莫蒂 你作业做完了吗 Morty are you done with your homework?
没全做完 Not all of it.
对不起 爸爸 Sorry Dad.
哦 别担心 亲爱的 我们是一家人 Oh don't be sorry sweetie. We're all in this together.
我们是黄蜂 不是怪物 We're wasps not monsters.
看来事情没有我想的那么坏 Huh guess I don't have it as bad as I thought.
能把酸递给我一下吗 Can you pass the acid?
啊 不要 跑 快跑啊 我的孩子们 Aah! No! Run! Run my babies!
意外收获 Bonus!
- 莫蒂 - 莫蒂 Morty? Morty?
- 那个小混蛋在哪儿 - 莫蒂 Where is that little shit? Morty!
犯规了 连我的车库也翻 Whoa garage foul.
谁说你能乱翻我东西了 Who said you could go through my stuff?
我的博格林呢 W-Where's my Boglin?
你在这儿啊 别担心 老爹回来啦 There you are. Don't worry Pop-pop's back.
我会保护你的 什么 I'll keep you safe. What the --
他拿走了我的使命必达盒 He took my Meeseeks boxes! All that's left are these
Kirkland 柯克兰 全美销量第一的健康品牌
只剩这些他妈的的柯克兰牌的使命必达盒了 shitty Kirkland brand Meeseeks boxes.
你想干嘛 What do you want?
该死 你的莫蒂太混蛋了 Damn your Morty sucks.
啊 黄蜂 Aah wasps!
你到底为什么不教莫蒂复活我 Why the hell didn't you show Morty how to bring my body back to life?
- 别告诉我你是觉醒了想替代我 - 什么 - Don't tell me you gained sentience and tried to take over. - What?
这是对AI的种族歧视 阿西莫夫的那套狗屁 That is some A.I. racist accusatoryIsaac Asimov bullshit right there.
Issac Asimov 艾萨克阿西莫夫 美国著名科幻小说家 提出了著名的机器人三定律
那你倒是说啊 我的身体到底去哪儿了 Then what happened? Where's my body?
喔 你会喜欢这个故事的? Oh you're gonna love this.
- 我爱你 莫蒂 - 这就是我的人生 -I love you Morty. -This is my life.
太好了 This is good.
想不到吧 我们的小莫蒂还会尖叫了 What do ya know?Our little Morty knows how to scream.
现在你完了 我早跟你说过 Oh you're fucked now! I told you!
抓住他 瑞克 Get him Rick!
天啊 我看不见我是怎么死的了 Aah! I-I can't see my own death.
我到底会怎么死啊 H-How am I gonna die?!
好了 傻瓜 安静点儿 Shh quiet idiot. Quiet.
没事了 It's gonna be alright.
你不会知道自己会怎么死了 结束了 You don't get to know how you're gonna die.It's over.
喂 这他妈的铁磁流体缠上我的脚了 Oh hey.This fucking ferrofluid's wrapping around my legs.
我操 我有感觉了 我有质量了 Fuck! I can feel! I have mass!
我他妈是个神了 你们这些傻逼 I'm a fucking god now! You're fucked!
这他妈什么情况 What the fuck?
我 我还以为作为全息影像你很骄傲呢 I-I thought you were proud to be a hologram!
那是因为我他妈只能当个全息影像 That's 'cause I had to fucking be one!
我靠 啊啊啊 Shit! Aaah!
这是个什么教训 There's a lesson here
但我不想搞明白到底是什么了 and I'm not the one that's gonna figure it out.
呃 对不起 我没听你的话 还打算毁灭世界什么的 Hey uh sorry I didn't listen to you and tried to kill the whole world and stuff.
我觉得我得学着更活在当下 I guess I got to learn how to live in the moment a little more.
我的天 所以你今天还真学到了什么教训吗 Oh boy so you actually learned something today?
你以为这是欢乐满屋吗 What is this "Full House"?
欢乐满屋 关于单身父亲育儿的情景喜剧
我今天倒是一直都活在当下 I was living in the moment all day
导致我不停被纳粹杀死 and it kept getting me killed by Nazis.
我觉得你不仅得活在当下 也得思考未来 I think you have to think ahead andlive in the moment.
莫蒂 我们在新闻上看见你了 你还好吗 Morty we saw you on the news. Are you okay?
真有你的啊 瑞克 你这是打算把我们儿子变成阿基拉吗 Oh real nice Rick. Turning our son into an Akira?
- 真有你的 - 玩儿蛋去 Jerry Real nice. -Eat my ass Jerry.
他是自己把自己变成阿基拉的 He turned himself into Akira.
玩就玩 因为这是我的地盘 瑞克 Oh I'll eat it because this is my house Rick.
- 我想玩儿什么蛋都行 - 恶心 I'll eat any ass I want. -Gross.
你说那个水晶不会伤害任何人的 爸 You said the crystals wouldn't hurt anyone Dad.
这个家庭本有个崭新的开始 This family has a clean start.
我不知道我儿子是不是适合去冒险 I don't know if adventures fit into my son's life.
我挺好的 别怪外公了 I'm fine. Get off Rick's back.
我做那些事情的时候 瑞克甚至都不在这里 Rick wasn't even here when I was doing all that stuff.
都是我的错 That was all on me.
那好吧 莫蒂 Well alright Morty.
只要你没事就好 我们只关心这个 I guess as long as you're okay that's all we care about.
我不想再看到任何夸张的事情发生在我儿子身上了 老混蛋 I don't want to see any more anime stuff happening to my son buster.
那根手指染上艾滋病了 不是我的错 That finger has AIDs now. Not my fault.
你留下了艾滋病病毒 You skipped HIV?
- 他跟你闹着玩儿的 宝贝 - 但真的在刺痛 -He's messing with you sweetie. -But it's tingling!
所以我想我们学到的教训就是各退一步 So I guess what we learned is to split the diff.
从现在开始 瑞克和莫蒂会干点这个再干点那个 From now on Rick and Morty doing a little of this and a little of that.
是啊 有时我们会干些以前经常干的事情 Yeah sometimes we'll do classic stuff.
但别的时候 我们可以干其他任何事情 You know other times we'll do whatever!
有时我们什么事也不干 Sometimes we won't even do anything!
瑞克和莫蒂 什么也不干 Rick and Morty do -- not doing anything!
一百年一万年 直到极限 A hundred years!Pushing it to the limit.
瑞克和Morty 不走寻常路 Rick and Morty not sticking to one path.
尝试不同的事情 绝不重复 永不乏味 Trying different thingsMaking sure to keep out of a rut.
干些事情 或者什么也不干 Doing stuff. Sometimes not doing stuff.
甚至别去管有没有极限 Not even pushing a little bit towards the limit.
分开干 一起干 一定要有收获 Doing it alone or together. Making sure to keep our eyes
或者就只是放松一下 on the prize. Sometimes just relaxing.
或者不是 你他妈想干什么都行 莫蒂 Or not. And you can do whatever the fuck you want Morty.
- 就是这样 - 等等 搞什么 -That's the end. -Wait wait what the fuck?
等等 你他妈刚说什么 H-Hold on. What the fuck did you just say?
没什么 我什么也没说啊 Nothing. I didn't say anything.
我只是在配合你们啊 I was just playing along with you guys.
你知道我什么都会录下来吧 You know I record everything right?
车库 把夏茉的声音分离出来 然后回放 Garage isolate Summer's voice and play back.
噢 接着你俩就能结婚 Oh and then you guys can get married
然后互相口爆 and like suck each other off
射在睾丸激素狂飙的三年级男孩的屁股里 in a testosterone-addled fucking third-grade-boy.
什么鬼啊 夏茉 太恶心了 What the hell Summer?! That's disgusting.
恶心 夏茉 我的天啊 Gross Summer! Jesus Christ!
我只是在开玩笑啊 你们 I was just joking around you --
就是想看看你们会不会注意到我 just seeing if you guys pay any attention to me.
就是想和你们一起玩而已 Just want to be a part of the fun.
你他妈滚出去 Get the fuck out of here!
滚出去 夏茉 Get out of here Summer!
- 太他妈的恶心了 - 滚出去 fucking disgusting! -Get out of here!
你把第四季首播给毁了 You ruined the Season 4 premiere!
第四季的首播 你毁了它 The Season 4 premiere you ruined it!
天啊 明天就是求职日了 God tomorrow's career day.
我根本不想去想毕业后我会做什么 I don't want to think about what I do when I get out of school.
我太清楚自己想做什么了 I know exactly what I want to do.
我想做临终关怀 I want to work in hospice.
我想去安慰那些将死之人 I want to comfort the people who are dying
没有家人朋友的人 真正孤独的人 who have no one else in their lives --the real lonely people.
我会看着他们的名牌 然后我会说 I'm gonna look at their name tags and I'm gonna say
"我爱你" "I love you"
后面跟着他们名牌上的名字 followed by whatever it says on their name tag
—遍又一遍 over and over.
我日 What the fuck?
莫蒂 帮我个小忙 Hey Morty quick favor.
什么 在我身上倒满汽油和蜘蛛吗 What cover me in gasoline and spiders?
没问题 好的我来 Fine yeah I'm in.
不是我的第一想法 Wasn't my first pitch
但是我也不想浪费这个机会 but hey not gonna waste this opportunity.
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